Listen to Your Wives Boys

I may receive a fair amount of flak at home for this post and not live it down till I'm fertilizer in the garden but I've never been afraid of providing my backside as a target before so why start now.  As Wendell said, we must be a people willing to undertake profound self analysis.  I found a random post on Wendell at a blog on organic farming and intentional community wherein a reader wrote about his breaking bread with the old poet.  I know.  What a lucky bastard eh.

I once had the good fortune of having soup with Wendell Berry. At the time, I was a divinity school student, and a couple of friends and I had been talking a lot about intentional communities – what they were, how they worked, whether we might start one somewhere (anywhere, really – our first mistake). Perhaps foolishly, and probably seeking some sort of affirmation, my friend Steve decided to bring this up with Mr. Berry. His first response was that whatever far-flung ideas we had, an intentional community would have to be an agricultural one; it would have to be a land-based community. Maybe it was not surprising to us that he would say such a thing, but in retrospect I imagine he was pretty surprised. Here were some smart-seeming Yale students with almost no sense at all.

Long after the subject had been changed and we were all walking out the door saying our goodbyes, he made his second point: “Listen to your wives, boys – listen to your wives.”

Now, Wendell's views on intentional community aside, though they are interesting, I was struck quite profoundly by that last little bit of advice, those last parting words.  I admit, on a random blog with a random letter, that I have no idea if this happened, but I'm not one to shirk a good tale.  I believe in dragons for goodness sake.  Why not.  Drives Sara crazy but the boys love it and if I can't prove it right then I can't prove it wrong.  Besides, this seems exactly like something Wendell would say.  So I'll take it for what I think it is - the truth.  Listen to your wives, boys - listen to your wives.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?  Here's my take and this is my place and my family.  Yours will be yours.  Sara is profoundly practical.  I have been known to be a bit flighty.  Sara is optimistic.  I'm pessimistic.  Sara is nurturing.  I'm relatively destructive.  Sara is stubborn.  I'm more stubborn.  Sara is hospitable.  I hide down aisles in the grocery store to avoid people I know.  Sara is beautiful.  I'm not very good looking.  She's the win to my wang.  Or is that the yin to my yang?  The point is, she is the central personhood of my place, she is the voice of my limits, and my primary economic partner.  If you believe in place, limits, liberty, and community then you sure as hell better listen to your wife.  That's a lesson I could learn a bit more about.

Read the whole post here if you so desire. The power is in your fingertip. Revel in it. I'm not responsible, however, for any dancing nuns you may see herein.